I Keep Holding On...

When you think you shut down something in order to avoid a terrible mistake, you end up making more mistakes to add to the one that you thought you've avoided. That was destroying something that was already strained in the most fantastic of ways. So i can do what, exactly...avoid being dishonest? I made myself look stupid in my decisions in love, and now I have nothing here in this heart. Working has replaced my emotions. I can't muster enough to recapture what was, nor even spark what little I have left. That explains why my ass is up on All Hallows' Eve typing this shit to you all. But the title has its purpose. I must regain ground. My capoeira has been stronger and trickier than the old mess I've practiced. I have gained three jobs, one being an entrepreneurship. I have eaten and felt healthier. To conclude these revelations for now, I've finally learned how to say "no", without actually saying it! Thank egun! i attribute all of my experiences of this up and down "5" year to my ancestors and orisa, and how they've guided me through my tumult ans triumphs. Albeit there's a lingering love that I still carry for this person, I still recognize that movement happens when you initiate the move. I don't regret the situation. In fact, as much as it hurts to see her smile without me, it actually makes me happy to see her do so, knowing all of the things she's experienced in the past three years. I will continue to ask for more blessing for her family and their livelihood.

As for me...well, I plan on taking this new business further. By January, I hope to make it officially a running non-profit for this community. I made a silly assumption about how I felt and did not listen to the inner God about this person that made a presence after my ex. Thank goodness it was short lived and not a situation of presumable love. I needed true time after my ex, and I didn't give it enough, due to my weakness in accepting the relationship's downfall. therefore, my egun let me know quickly what I needed to do to return back to my higher self. Truth be told, I do miss my ex, but I don't miss the struggling. I wish I didn't have to split with her, but I think we both did so in order to be better people. Maybe there will be a recon or our souls or togetherness. Until then, we are reminded to treasure the good times that or emotions bring us. Funny how love works. I am reminded by Caretta Bell's song verse: "Love Lets You Be Free."

You are sure right, Ms. Bell.

Ifeanyi Okoro
10/31/2010

The last of the last 09-09-09 (Part Two)

Some people are just born to be against the grain, and all for the wrong reasons, shall I add. I just saw the Republican Party (Once Radical Republic, now just "Republi-cons" of the Trans-reformers... "More than health care odds") have their own good ol' South Carolinian hardhead Wilson shout out at the Pres. of these States Unified, calling him a liar. Of course, he got some looks form the "Auto-bamas" and a few from his own Republicons. In actuality, it's very legal to say what you will, seeing that free speech is a joke, and that it was only made for certain people of the hierarchy (i.e. rich, white men that had land and power). In other terms, shoes and bullets were used to express disgust (Bush and Reagan respectively). A babalawo once mentioned that the assassination of this new pres will be solely one of character. Why are people surprised? Obama can play this "I'm calm and cool" role if he likes, but the views of many that are sharing his skin, his past, and furthermore, his dream that seemingly is tanking by the second is now becoming dimmer and dimmer.

No respect for self. What was Obama doing this month? Taking heat about a speech encouraging the youth to pursue happiness through education and perseverance. No, he's taking the high road. Everyone mark your calendar when this great prophet...excuse me, chosen man didn't address Gates' arresting officer in a manner of chin-checking, position of power-wise. The flood gates have opened. You have natural born idiots that don't like to use common sense in consulting their ancestors or even some spiritual signs that appear to them. Here, I would have sent this cat to Ogun, or Esu to shut his ass up. No. Obama is trying his best to go Obatala's route, without using Obatala's strategy in thinking. Action won't take place without proper planning. He's balking on the Gitmo and Guantanamo Bay situations. he's not calling up the World Court on Bush and his cohorts for their part in the illegal capture and torture of suspects. Innocent ones, mind you.

Oya's watching and waiting tonight, throwing caution to the wind Obama is twirling in. He might want to gain his respect back by not letting a party push him and his image around. Then again, most of us good colored folk idol worship Jay Z and his "bride", Lil Wayne and Drake, watch Tiny and Toya, Really Asinine Housewives of ATL, and continuously dine on swine and slop. Our outside appearances are banged up through the inside. Oya wants you to be true. I've crossed over into the 9-10-09 date now in typing this. It's as if we're drinking all of this shit down and calling it a cure for the flu our minds have processed to believe we have. "Massa, we's sick?" America is built on September crashes and burns. The Titanic - September 1st.
German troops invade Poland as well as bomb their airfields.
Libya's Bloodless Coup
The world was changing. We're complaining about jobs and shit, yet we're not even stopping to see what the hell anyone else is thinking about our haughty, extravagant lifestyle. I'm awaiting this next day...just to see what transpired as a result of the last single digit ten spots are gone until 2101. (Not finished - TBC)